+++
title = "Are you like me?"
author = ["Colin"]
date = 2017-09-20T00:00:00-04:00
tags = ["uu"]
categories = ["thoughts"]
draft = false
+++

One of the aspects of my faith that I have the most difficulty with is accepting
other people regardless of where they are. As a human, I like to hang with
people like me. This is understandable, as tribalism exists in the world as an
artifact of the world we have lived in for the last 10,000 years.

And yet, UUism calls me to be accepting of others and to encourage others in
their spiritual growth. How can I be tribal and accepting of others at the same
time? I think a big part of that practice is being honest with yourself about
the biases you may have. I value thoughtfulness and intelligence highly. I do
not place as much value on art and entertainment. It is not that I don't like
those things, but someone who orients their life around art make it immediately
more difficult for me to find similarities and to enjoy their company.

The best thing I've found in these situations is to keep plumbing for
commonality. As awkward as tribalism can be, it's also a fantastic tool to build
affinity for other people. If you can intentionally try to build a tribe with
strangers, before you know it they are no longer a stranger and instead part of
a new tribe that you just created. Maybe they have kids. I have kids and know
that world all too well. Perhaps they have a Mormon grandmother who is difficult
to be around :) Yet another opportunity to build the community that was missing
before.

The trick is not to disavow the aspects of our human psychology that make us
able to accept others, but use them to our advantage to grow our tribe larger,
or at least increase the number of small tribes we're a part of.
